Holy Man

When he was a young man, Hagbard Celine was troubled by the conflicts he saw around him. He went to many people seeking a way to resolve the discords that troubled him, but to no avail.

One night in a coffee house, a self ordained Zen minister said to him, "Go to the dilapidated mansion at this address. Do not speak to those who live there, you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night, Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner. Face the corner and meditate.

He did as the zen master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried if the rest of the plumbing would fall and join the pipes and trash he was sitting on. He worried how he would know when the moon rose the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him.

His worrying and meditation were interrupted when, as if in a test of his faith, a large amount of bodily wastes fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room.

"Who is the man sitting there in the corner?"

"Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shit head."

Hearing this, Hagbard was enlightened.